I’ve been reading a lot about stacking dates on various blogs lately. For those of you who have no experience it goes something like this:
*Invite girl 1 on date say... 7pm for dinner
*Invite girl 2 out for drinks... 9pm
*If girl 1 is a total snoozefest end date early and move on
*If girl 1 is awesome, blow off girl 2
Many of the folks who follow these blogs have commented on that post about how successful this technique has been for them. The author himself says that this always leads to hooking up with one of the women he sees in a day. So I decided to try it out for myself.
Several weeks prior I had met Jordan at a mutual friend’s party. He was charming, attractive, and seemed to be a pretty good guy. We went out a week after meeting and I had been searching for a reason to see him again. After several failed attempts he was finally free to attend a party with me last Friday night. The only problem? I had agreed to a 2nd date with Mitch that same night.
No big deal, I’ll stack the date I said to myself. Dinner with Mitch at 6 and head to the party with Jordan around 9. I felt all the same things several date stackers do... calm, like if something went wrong with Mitch it wasn’t a big deal, since I felt like I was in high demand. I did feel incredibly guilty however, when at the end of dinner Mitch asked if I wanted to have drinks at a local bar we both had expressed interest in trying. I’ll be honest, I told a half-truth. I said I was going to a party, but told him it was girls night. Although disappointed, he was persistent and said perhaps we could go sometime later the next week (we never did).
Although I knew I wasn’t particularly interested in seeing Mitch again, I would still call it a successful date. Seeing Jordan however, was the part of the evening I was particularly excited about. I was hoping that the night would end the same way it did the last time we saw each other.
Mistake 1: You probably shouldn’t talk about other people you’re dating in front of another date. While at the party, Jordan overheard a friend of mine ask how my date earlier in the evening had gone.
Mistake 2: Don’t ask about the other people the guy is dating. I tried to recover the situation, but before I could Jordan mentioned he too had been on a date earlier in the week. I couldn’t help myself, I asked how his date went. As i’m sure most of you have felt at one point in time I was torn between wanting to know and not wanting to hear the details. I heard the worst news possible - that it had gone well and he would probably see her again.
While he could have just been saying this to make himself seem more desirable it immediately changed my motives. I no longer wanted to pursue him because
A: I was hurt that he didn’t think of taking me on a date
B: I thought of myself as ‘the other woman’ even though they weren’t exclusive
I ended up going home alone that night, and even though I was disappointed I was happy with my decision to see both men on the same evening. That being said, please please please do not take this post as an endorsement to stack dates all the time. I would never recommend fully following the date stacking technique (blowing off the second girl if the first is more interesting). How would you feel after all if you learned the reason your last date never showed was because someone was more interesting than you? Feel free to use this technique as a reason to keep the dates short and sweet, but try not to hurt anyone’s feelings.
Don't let your dates find out they were stacked...
How do you feel about stacking? Share your success (or failure) stories below.
No comments:
Post a Comment