I would like to apologize in advance to all my readers trying to put events into chronological order while reading. Thus far I’ve been writing as things pop into my head, or writing for my friends, knowing what sort of situations they are currently going through and how my words might help. Now I’m in the process of going back and filling in the gaps - something I’d like to avoid in the future. Please be patient with me!
On to the good stuff...
Jordan and I had quickly become friends on facebook after meeting at our mutual friend’s party and had a few IM conversations before he finally asked for my number one evening. Several days later he invited me to meet him and some of his friends at a bar.
I ended up having a really nice time, even though I went into the evening only knowing two people. Jordan was really laid back; initially staying by my side and introduced me to everyone he knew. Gradually as I became more comfortable he mingled with his friends and left me to my own devices, occasionally catching my eye across the room to make sure I was still doing ok. I really appreciate this characteristic in a man - knowing when to leave me alone (if I’m involved in a conversation) and when to rescue me (in the event i’m obviously bored)
As the gathering started to dissipate I turned to Jordan to let him know I was leaving and he caught me really off guard by asking if I wanted to come home with him.
I would like to start by saying that while I liked what I had seen of Jordan’s personality at this point I still wasn’t sure what category I was hoping he would fall into (boyfriend material, friend, friend with benefits).
That being said, I ended up going back to his place. We went into his room under the pretense of watching a movie (yeah right...) and made ourselves comfortable.
Before I knew it we were making out. Originally I didn’t want to sleep with him, knowing that I still didn’t know what category to put him in.
Even though I knew full well that I should have ended the evening at that point, I also felt like I didn’t know how to turn him down since we had already started fooling around. Several days later I found a post from another blog outlining exactly how to handle this situation... Isn’t that how life always works?
As I’m sure you can guess, we ended up having sex. I really enjoyed it; he knew just how to balance treating me as a lady but taking me like a man. If you’ve never experienced this let me break it down for you:
*He spent a good amount of time getting to know my body
*Took his time kissing/caressing
*Wasn’t selfish
*Knew when to be firm ;)
*Wasn’t afraid to be a little rougher/more passionate at times
He initiated post-sex cuddling, and even adjusted the pillows in the middle of the night when he realized I had rolled off of them (he doesn’t know I woke up when this happened).
The next morning we went to breakfast, had an easy and playful conversation, did a little shopping and then went our separate ways.
Of course I told my good friend Iris about it right away... because we girls gossip like that.
(ok... I wouldn't go that far...)
One of her first questions included, “when/are you going to text him later?”
The answer to that my friends is no. Generally it is a good idea to let the man initiate contact in the early stages of any relationship so I decided to wait it out.
So naturally I was thrilled when he sent a text later in the day asking how I was and if I had enjoyed myself the previous evening. At this point I was hooked. Based on what I had seen of his personality I wished I hadn’t slept with him so early. Knowing that it’s very difficult to go from hook-up to relationship I set my sights on hopefully turning the this into a stable friends with benefits situation.
This of course didn’t end up happening, and even though i’m disappointed I don’t necessarily regret anything. We still see each other/talk regularly and I can now learn from my mistakes.
The take way:
*If you want a relationship, don’t have sex until you have some kind of commitment.
*Without interruptions firmly guide away his hands
*Repeat that you don’t want to go there... yet
Feel free to discuss your similar situations below in the comments!
Gah! I wish I had known about this sooner as well. It's always so awkward stoping a guy after his hand is already wandering where it shouldn't be... I'll remember this next time.
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