Threesomes part 2: The Magical Unicorn

“Never one to miss an opportunity to fine-tune my game I engaged in a playful conversation with an attractive gentleman (Nick) and his friend (Aaron)... both of whom I ended up taking home later that evening (don’t worry, Mitch had gone home long before the flirting became too intense).”

At first i’m sure you thought you hadn’t read that passage right.  I couldn’t possibly have taken both Aaron and Nick home with me that night.  

Especially after having had a first date with Mitch earlier that day.  Ladies I’m telling you... threesomes are not just about two women and a man anymore!

Here I was, enjoying a drink between two fairly attractive men when Nick leaned over and whispered a proposition.  I wasn’t sure I had heard him correctly as the music in this particular bar was quite loud.  Had he just said something about both of them walking me home?   Then he winked and added “If you catch my meaning.”

I’ll admit I laughed.  Laughed and went back to my drink, thinking that he was messing with me.  A few minutes later though he reiterated his proposition and added that it would only go as far as I was comfortable... of course.

What the hell I said.  Nick was a doctor (or so he said) and Aaron had just broken up with his longterm girlfriend (which explained his awkward and mopey conversations) and we could all use an adventure!  I told my friends I was going home and reassured them I was comfortable leaving with these strangers.  Little did I know several of my friends had a bet going about who I was eventually going to take home with me that night; the choices being Nick, Aaron, Mitch or another guy who was also with us at the time.  How surprised they were when they all technically lost the bet!

I will throw out a warning before I go into too much detail.  This situation could have gone down a much darker path.  None of my roommates were home and I was letting in two strange men who, if they wanted, could have easily overpowered me if they didn’t get their way.  I was incredibly lucky that all went well, just be aware and look for red flags before you take home random hotties :P

Everything started off fairly typically.  I poured some wine, they complemented me profusely, and we moved towards the bedroom.  Nick came up with an incredibly cheesy nickname of sorts for me.  Stating that I was a very rare woman (I believe he meant that as a compliment) and that they were lucky to have found me he then dubbed me a magical unicorn.  A phrase that was repeated throughout the rest of the night and became a bit of a joke between my friends and I.

The beginning consisted mostly of making out, and moved towards what you would typically find in a male-male-female threesome.  Making out with one guy while the other finds different places for his mouth.  When things started to heat up however, I realized with some embarrassment that I only had one condom in my nightstand.  Nick asked if it was necessary that we have them.  I believe that the look on my face and the stern ‘yes’ was a good answer.  

Aaron got up at that point and ran to the nearby gas station to pick up some more.  He wasn’t gone long, but long enough for me to get a preview of what Nick had to offer.  I wasn’t disappointed. 

Nick was very insistent that we should try to focus mostly on Aaron so he would forget about his ex.  Aaron, however, didn’t seem particularly into it.  He was an average kisser I’ll give him that but when it came right down to it he just couldn’t... well... seal the deal.  He was quite a bit smaller than his friend so I had two conclusions: he was feeling emasculated next to his friend/couldn’t focus with another male in the room or he didn’t find me attractive.  I found the last a little hard to believe since he was the one who ran out for more condoms but I suppose I will never know.

In the end I enjoyed myself, despite Nick going for certain areas I explicitly didn’t want him to venture towards.  I had to tell him no a couple times but eventually he stopped trying.  

No.  Just no.

Again I am aware I was lucky that these two men were as well behaved as they were.  I’m not sad that I had this experience but I recognize that it could have ended very, very badly.

The boys left before I got up the next day but I do remember them saying goodbye before they left.  The experience must not have been all bad as Nick continued to text me for a week or so after.  He even came around for an early morning booty call a week later!

So tell me, have you ever had a threesome?  Would you go home with two guys?

Open Up

Many of my female friends have recently asked for my secret when it comes to encouraging men to approach me at the bar.  According to them men apparently seem to flock to me when we are out.

During one conversation in particular my friend and I were sitting at the bar and she was complaining about men and the fact they never seemed interested in approaching her.

Taking a quick note of our body language in that moment I saw immediately what the problem was.  We were both slouching with our torsos directed towards the bartender.  We could have been the hottest girls in the room but if I were a man looking for some action I wouldn't go anywhere near that scene... it's just asking to be rejected.

Not only did we have poor body language, but there were no openings in the crowd for an interested man to approach.

A good rule of thumb is to keep your torso facing outward, that way you can make eye contact with anyone you may be interested in.  

Graphic: The Rules Revisited

Fixing my posture and turning my body out towards the crowd I began to scan the room for potentials.  Personally frustrated with various other things in my life I decided to focus on being a good wing-woman.

One man I noticed kept looking in our direction, so I decided to draw him in.  After several moments of prolonged eye contact he made his way over to us.  After introductions were made and the conversation seemed like it was heading in a good direction I excused myself to the ladies room. (Girls take note, to be a good wing-woman you need to make sure to give your friend some alone time every once in a while, this gives the man the opportunity to ask for her number later in the conversation.)

By changing my body language the prospective man was able to easily join the conversation.

On another occasion my friend Iris acted as the perfect wing-woman.  She had been drinking at the bar and had started a conversation with two guys as they had come up to buy a drink.  She summoned me over and proceeded to introduce me, giving a relevant piece of information about my hobbies that included me in the conversation that was already happening.  She made it super easy for me to join by rotating her back to the bar, including all four of us in the 'circle'.

Iris and two prospects

It is important to note that you should avoid the 'circle' if at all possible when you are out trying to meet people.  I know you've all seen the groups of 4 or more girls out at the bar, heads bowed towards each other or dancing in a circle.  This is super intimidating to outsiders trying to introduce themselves.  And these girls wonder why no one talks to them all night....

For example:  Several weeks ago I was out with two good friends.  I made sure that we sat at the bar with an opening between us all.  We were still close enough to hear each other but there was an obvious opening for someone to approach and talk to either of my friends.

Having open body language however will not automatically draw people to you.  I've come to learn that just being approachable is not enough for some men.  I mean, let's face it, rejection is tough for everyone right?

Here is what usually works for me:

1.  Make eye contact.  For at least 10 seconds. 

(not all at once... don't be creepy now) 

You can look away and back holding for a few seconds at a time.

Yikes...

2.  Smile... naturally

Andrew makes a good note that smiling isn't always a good thing as forcing a smile often looks awkward.  I tend to do a half smile while averting my eyes for a moment before glancing back.

3.  If these steps don't work I usually move on.  Or if i'm really interested I keep an eye out for when he goes to order another drink and make my way towards the bar at the same time.

Initiating conversations with people while waiting to order a drink is probably the easiest way to meet people at the bar!  I tell all of my male friends to introduce themselves to every woman who stands next to them to order.  It's good practice and you never know, you might end up liking them!

Another extremely important lesson i've learned since December is that you should never pass up an opportunity to practice your game.  The night of the last example the male to female ratio was ridiculous.  I wasn't feeling particularly sexy or even interested in any of the men but I knew it was important to practice making eye contact with people, and since there were so many men to choose from it was a perfect night for target practice.

I chose my victim and followed my usual pattern and he surprised us all by immediately coming over to introduce himself.  

While this doesn't always happen i'd say 3 out of 5 attempts end in at least a short conversation.

It's important to remember in these instances that you shouldn't take it personally if after a few minutes a man walks away without asking for your number.   Just remember that it was good practice and move on to the next guy.

Hopefully these examples will help next time you're out at the bar!

As always feel free to comment/discuss how some of these tricks have worked for you!